Kampua Talk

*checks watch*

GONG XI FA CHAI!!!

It is STILL new year and I am STILL in the new year mood. Well, wishing you all the best and prosperity in the year of Tiger. Like one of the CNY sms-es that I received: “Tiger year must drink Tiger beer, eat Tiger biscuit, use Tiger balm and watch Tiger show but don’t play play like Tiger Woods. Wishing you Happy Tiger Year and Gong Xi Fa Cai! Have a good one!”

• Yes, I know…lack of updates…lack of substance…about time for me to close shop (?) Well, I am contemplating. Hmm~
• With Facebook, I have short updates every now and then when I feel like it. No need type long long.
• Almost everyone on my friends list can see my update in Facebook but not all of them read this blog.
• Refer to previous post entitled “TULAN”, other people’s job is still piling up on my desk. *refrain from cursing*
• I am on a 40-day non-meat diet during this Lent season starting Ash Wednesday last week. Pork, chicken, duck, beef, lamb, mutton, rabbit, etc considered not halal for me. Not that I am holy-molly whatsoever but just want to see if I can do it/determined enough or not. So far so good
• It feels so nice to be the one with the lampar being hu-ed. Not that I have any but you know what I mean.
• Slacking from gym since CNY. Muscles turning into lard.

ROAR!!!

Too many blonde light bulb jokes they are getting lame.

Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Such number as may be deemed to perform the stated task in a timely and efficient manner within the strictures of the following agreement:

Whereas the party of the first part, also known as “The Lawyer,” and the party of the second part, also known as “The Light Bulb,” do hereby and forthwith agree to a transaction wherein the party of the second part (Light Bulb) shall be removed from the current position as a result of failure to perform previously agreed upon duties, i.e., the lighting, elucidation, and otherwise illumination of the area ranging from the front (north) door, through the entry way, terminating at an area just inside the primary living area, demarcated by the beginning of the carpet, any spillover illumination being at the option of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) and not required by the aforementioned agreement be tween the parties.

The aforementioned removal transaction shall include, but not be limited to, the following steps:

1. The party of the first part (Lawyer) shall, with or without elevation at his option, by means of a chair, stepstool, ladder or any other means of elevation, grasp the party of the second part (Light Bulb) and rotate the party of the second part (Light Bulb) in a counter-clockwise direction, said direction being non- negotiable. Said grasping and rotation of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) shall be undertaken by the party of the first part (Lawyer) with every possible caution by the party of the first part (Lawyer) to maintain the structural integrity of the party of the second part (Light Bulb), notwithstanding the aforementioned failure of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) to perform the aforementioned customary and agreed upon duties. The foregoing notwithstanding, however, both parties stipulate that structural failure of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) may be incidental to the aforementioned failure to perform and in such case the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall be held blameless for such structural failure insofar as this agreement is concerned so long as the non-negotiable directional codicil (counter-clockwise) is observed by the party of the first part (Lawyer) throughout.
2. Upon reaching a point where the party of the second part (Light Bulb) becomes separated from the party of the third part (”Receptacle”), the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall have the option of disposing of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) in a manner consistent with all applicable state, local and federal statutes.
3. Once separation and disposal have been achieved, the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall have the option of beginning installation of the party of the fourth part(”New Light Bulb”). This installation shall occur in a manner consistent with the reverse of the procedures described in step one of this self-same document, being careful to note that the rotation should occur in a clockwise direction, said direction also being non- negotiable.

NOTE: The above described steps may be performed, at the option of the party of the first part (Lawyer), by said party of the first part (Lawyer), by his heirs and assigns, or by any and all persons authorized by her/him to do so, the objective being to produce a level of illumination in the immediate vicinity of the aforementioned front (north) door consistent with maximization of ingress and revenue for the party of the fifth part, also known as “The Firm.”

Work is piling up. Those files on my table are so tall that people can hardly see me Did I ever mention that those pile of work is not mine?

Sendiri punya work already cannot finish, now have to do other people’s unfinished job. Summore no increment/bonus/incentives how to be motivated/productive? Bodoh-seng! %$@#@%^$*&^$@#!!!

Yesterday, when my colleague asked me what did I want for breakfast today, I consulted her and my other colleagues about the food there. She was going to tapao breakfast from Kopi-O Corner (corner coffeeshop below Satok bridge, near Sugarbun, located right at the turning into the road leading to the police flat). According to them, “apa-apa pun nyaman” (everything is delicious) at that shop, I mean the food.

So I peeked at other colleagues’ order and decided on the Roti Daging which looked like this when I open the box:

The sauce: Chili sauce + Mayonnaise + sprinkles of pepper + some brown sauce which tastes suspiciously like BBQ&pepper sauce though the pepper taste was not too strong to spoil the food

It is roti canai with minced beef and egg rolled up to resemble the popiah

It was very nice and I am definitely going to have this again. It taste like murtabak daging with lesser beef. I asked her if the shop is open on weekends. Well, it does!

Next time I am going to have two of this with the sauce separately served! Yummy!

Ah~ 2010 is here! It feels like a new beginning, something to look forward to, fresh air… Four out of six resolutions achieved last year and I am quite happy with that. For this year I am not going to make ridiculous resolutions that I cannot achieve, like dating Taylor Lautner, eating a large pizza at one go, swimming across South China Sea or simply trying to understand men

This year, I resolved to:

1. Stick to diet plan and achieve targeted weight instead of just losing some kilograms at the end of the year.
   
   (*For illustration and motivation purpose only )
2. Make it to the gym at least twice a week
3. Do not join Twitter, Facebook is already bad enough - addiction wise
4. Do/Eat/Make/Learn something new
5. Refrain from cursing every idiot that got in my way
   
6. Enjoy life more

WOW! Making new year’s resolutions is a long and tedious task. The mind-numbing process which took me four days to come up with needs the skill, knowledge and expertise of a nuclear scientist or a brain surgeon. Due to its highly intellectual nature, I am left comatose!

Actually I’m still in new year mood. Haha!

Happy New Year 2010!

Have you ever noticed that life seems to follow certain patterns? Like I noticed that every year, around this time, we find ourselves enmeshed in the Holiday Season, one of those very special times of the year when we share centuries-old traditions, such as review the year’s resolutions before welcoming the new year, make a list of impossible-to-achieve resolutions, stuck in jam and curse at other drivers while on the way to town/pubs/clubs to some countdown celebration, drive around trying to find a place to park, drink ourselves silly and woke up on the first day of new year with horrible hangover (what a way to start a year, eh?), etc.

On this day last year, I resolved to:

1. Discard bad elements - things, people and attitude
   Things - discarded, but new junks are piling up as well
   People - definitely, I only treasure people who matter to me. If I made an effort to meet/catch up with you and you do the same, then, yes, you’re still on my list. If I made an effort to meet/catch up with you and you agreed but canceled on me at the last minute because of some lame excuses like your dog ate your car key, then that’s the last you’ll hear from me.
   Attitude - oh yes, like sleeping late, eat too much, spend like no tomorrow, drive like suicidal banshee with tail on fire, …
2. Lose weight and that stubborn love handles
   After successfully failed to keep this resolution two years in a row, I managed to shed some 3-4kg off, since I started my workout regimen and control my food intake TWO months ago. Here’s a secret to keep to your lose-weight resolution: Eat like nobody’s business for 10 months and exercise like mad as well as control your food intake for the last 2 months. BAHAHAHA!!! If you’re unwilling to do that, make everyone else around you fat!
3. Refrain from catching too much snakes
   Ehem *cough* I think I catch even more snakes
4. Travel to a new place
   Nope!
5. Do something new
   I wrote for a column in a local paper. Bought a new ride. Joined a gym. Become broke ever since. That is 4 things new! *pat self on the shoulder*
6. Join a competition
   Joined a small sort-of competition on Lydia Teh’s blog (Yes! The writer, Lydia Teh!) and won her latest book, Stretching Your Dollar$ and $ense and RM50 cash voucher. The best thing of all was that Lydia personally attached a Belated Birthday Card on top of the prizes because she announced the winners on my birthday

The verdict? SUCCESS! *pumps fist in the air*

Stay tuned. New Year’s Resolution in the next post…